


Do you have one in blue?

by Time2dancecpj



Series: Do you have one in blue? [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Includes swearing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Tree Bros, based off of softmushies drawing, convan, cotton candy and hunters au, emo!evan, implied suicidal intentions, just a small piece, might do a part two later, pastel!connor, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 11:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13246956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Time2dancecpj/pseuds/Time2dancecpj
Summary: Connor shrugged. “You have a sharpie?” Evan dug into his coat pocket and pulled out the black sharpie his mom had gave him that morning. Connor grimaced at the marker. “Do you have one in blue?”Evan frowned. “No I don’t have one in fucking blue.”





	Do you have one in blue?

**Author's Note:**

> In which the computer lab scene happens, but it’s Pastel!Connor and Emo!Evan created by @softmushie. I got really carried away by this so I apologize profusely. It was actually kinda hard to write? But yeah.
> 
> Also! Two A.M. cotton candy party headcannon was made by @volarfinch!

“So, what happened to your arm?”

Evan turned towards the sound of the voice and nearly had to squint at the sight. Through all the holographic hair clips and shining, colored streaks of hair, Evan somehow managed to figure out that the source was none other than Connor Murphy, the kid he pushed earlier that day. He scoffed and unconsciously scratched at the small amount of skin above his cast but beneath his elbow. “I fell out of a fucking tree,” Evan mumbled.

“You fell out of a tree?” Connor repeated. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m so sorry.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “Why are you sorry? It’s not like you pushed me out of the tree.”

Connor stood uncomfortable, shifting his weight from foot-to-foot. He gripped the paper in his hand a bit more tightly. “I see, uh, no one’s signed your cast.”

“Yeah. I know,” Evan said, tossing his bag over his shoulder. Why couldn’t Connor take the hint that he wasn’t one to make conversation with? Just let him grab his paper off the printer and leave for his next class. The sooner he got this school day over with, the sooner he could get into his moms medicine cabinet.

“Well, I’ll sign it,” Connor smiled, tucking a strand of pastel pink hair behind his ear.

“Oh.” How was Evan supposed to react to that? Connor—the kid who’s constantly picked on for his love of bright and colorful things. The kid who Evan had pushed earlier that day because he was so mad at some stupid offhand comment about his own looks that he had to take it out on someone else. The kid who just so happened to be the older brother of Zoe Murphy, Evan’s crush—wanted to sign his cast. “You don’t, um, you don’t have to.”

Connor shrugged. “You have a sharpie?” Evan dug into his coat pocket and pulled out the black sharpie his mom had gave him that morning. Connor grimaced at the marker. “Do you have one in blue?”

Evan frowned. “No I don’t have one in fucking blue.”

The taller boy smiled and set the paper he was holding down on the desk beside him. He swung his backpack off his shoulders, unzipped it, and pulled out his cotton candy covered pencil case. “I think Zoe gave mine back to me,” Connor said as he looked through the small case. Evan could see that the pencil case was filled with dozens of different colored sharpies. Some of the caps had small teeth marks from when Connor held them in his mouth while he was using the marker.

“Here it is!” Connor smiled and uncapped it. He carefully grabbed Evan’s cast and, in big, bold letters, spelled out “CONNOR” with a small smiley face at the end.

Evan raised an eyebrow at the size of the name. “Oh. Wow. Thanks?”

“Don’t mention it,” Connor said as he packed up his things. He gasped and grabbed the paper off the desk, handing it to the emo boy. “Here. I found this on the printer. I think it belongs to you? ‘Dear Evan Hansen,’ that’s you, right?”

Evan snatched the paper from his hands and stuffed it into his pocket. “Yeah. It’s just, um, it’s a shitty letter, paper I had to write for the, um, a class,” Evan managed to get out. He felt his palms start to sweat. _Shit! Not here, not now! Please!_

“Hey, are you okay?” Connor asked, putting a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Evan pushed him away and stumbled out of the computer lab. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why did you have to have a panic attack now? And for some shitty reason, non the less! Connor hadn’t even read the whole letter! Probably? He did see it was my name. Shit. He read it, didn’t he?_ These thoughts ran through Evans head as he headed for the second floor boys bathroom. It was almost always empty which was great because Evan could go there when his panic attacks set in. He stomped inside and went to the back stall, stuffing himself into the back corner and tucking his legs into his chest.

He was so focused on leaving that he didn’t remember to close the bathroom door.

“Evan? I don’t really know what’s going on, but I don’t think I’m supposed to just leave you here alone,” Connor said as he entered the small bathroom. He closed the door and went to the back stall, kneeling in front of the slightly shaking boy. “What do you need me to do?”

Evan couldn’t answer. He couldn’t talk. Heck, he couldn’t even move his mouth. He just sat there shivering, trying to control his breathing.

Connor pulled off his multicolored vest and tossed it over Evan’s shoulders. “I know you already have a jacket on, but you were still shivering so this might help,” he explained.

Connor bit his lip as he watched the emo boy take big, gulping breaths. An idea popped into his mind. Connor went into his bag and pulled out his cotton candy pencil case once again, grabbing a purple sharpie from inside. He gently grabbed Evan’s cast and set it in his lap. “Hey, try this, okay?” Connor drew a small square on the underside of the cast. “When I trace the line up, breath in. But don’t let go until I trace the line going down, okay?”

Evan silently nodded, squinting through newly-forming tears to watch Connors square. He followed Connors instructions and was surprised at how well it helped to control his breathing. After 43 fully completed squares, Evan was breathing normally again. He was surprised when he heard his own voice thank Connor for helping him.

Connor smiled and capped the marker. “Don’t mention it. Again.” He put the sharpie away and pulled out a light green one. He started to draw a small vine with leaves on his forearm.

Evan watched, entranced by the calming stroke of Connor’s sharpie. He felt like a complete fool when he said, “can you draw that on my cast?”

Connor stared at Evan for a few seconds before breaking out into a giant grin. “Of course!”

The rest of the school day was spent hiding in the second floor bathroom. When the bell rang indicating school was over, Evan’s cast was covered in pastel colored flowers, sweets, different shapes, and even a mini self portrait of himself. Evan gathered his things and gave Connor his vest back. He was ready to go home and…oh. Right. His moms medicine cabinet. Evan forgot about that. At least today was a good day to end on, right?

“Do you want me to bring you pink or blue cotton candy?”

Evan looked at Connor with questioning eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Zoe and I are gonna have a two a.m. cotton candy party and I was wondering if you’d want me to bring you some tomorrow?” Connor explained, putting away his things and standing up.

“Why would you want to bring me some?” Evan asked and walked out of the bathroom, the pastel boy in tow.

“Because you’re my friend!” Connor said happily. “So, pink or blue?”

Evan shrugged. “Surprise me.”

“Okay. Yeah. Sounds good.” Connor spotted Zoe in the crowded hallway. “I’ve gotta go. But I’ll see you tomorrow, Evan!” With one last smile, Connor walked away from Evan and towards his sister.

\-----

When Evan got home that afternoon, he tossed his bag on the couch and made a beeline for his moms bathroom. She wouldn’t be home till late that night which left Evan with more than enough time to do what he needed to do. He opened Heidi’s medicine cabinet and scanned the contents quickly before finding what he needed; his moms sleeping pills. Unfortunately, the few Xanax Evan had left wouldn’t be enough to do the job. So these pills would be doing the honors.

As Evan reached for the pills, he couldn’t help but notice he used his broken arm. Of course, the first thing that caught his eye was the giant “CONNOR” on it. That’s right. Connor was bringing him cotton candy tomorrow. Evan didn’t know if he was getting pink or blue. With a sigh, Evan closed the cabinet and shuffled back into the living room. He plopped onto the couch and flicked on the tv, playing whatever show just happened to be on there.

Evan would have to wait on those pills for another day. After all, he just _had_ to know what colored cotton candy his friend was giving him. Who wouldn’t want to know something like that?

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my Tumblr @i-also-miss-our-talks
> 
> I post there before I post here.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sour Gummies and Candy Cigarettes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13290879) by [tutty172](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tutty172/pseuds/tutty172)




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